This morning I
was struck with the consideration of how many people are working to improve on
God’s perfection. There are many who declare that they know better than God
how many kinds of spirituality he will accept. There are plenty of people telling everyone
that God is wrong about us being sinners under a death-sentence, and everyone
really has a champion within them who just needs to believe in one’s God-given
potential.
At the same
time, there are also the good church-going folks that subtly do church their
own way, in their own time, on their own terms. There is enough flurry of
activity and involvement to give the appearance of Christian behavior. However,
there is also an underlying dependence on the sark[1]
for everything that these people think, do, and say.
I say that
these people are trying to improve on God’s perfection because God has told us
that he has given us the whole plan of redemption to save us out of our sin and
restore us to the likeness of his Son. He has given us the Holy Spirit who leads
us to “put off your old self, which
belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,”[2] to
“be renewed in the spirit of your minds,”[3]
and to live out of our “new self, created
after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”[4]
In short, God
has both thought of everything, and "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and
godliness.”[5]His
thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and his ways are higher than our ways,[6] so
there is no way we will ever improve on what he thinks or does.
I
know how many times I have set out to do a project, got well under way, and
then discovered a glitch I hadn’t thought about, or made a cut that did not
take into consideration things I would need to do later. Most of my projects
take far longer than I could have planned because complications came up,
interruptions entered the picture, or I took a longer break than I should have
because I misjudged my own ability to get done on time.
The
point is that, our thoughts about getting something done are so inferior to God’s
thoughts, why would we think that our ways are better than his ways? It is
actually grievous to realize how easily we think and act as if God has not
thought and acted well enough. At the same time, we should be extremely
thankful that God is showing us this poverty of our spirits, so he can open our
eyes to the realities of the kingdom of heaven.
This
propensity towards self-reliance is why the call of the gospel includes, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny
himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”[7] This is not us denying that we have a self that is a person created
in the image and likeness of God. This is not us denying that we have desires
and longings. This is not about us denying that we are hurting, that we have
memories of childhood abuse, or feel hurt by that last string of rejections.
When Jesus spoke
of his disciples denying themselves, he was not talking about denying our
personhood. He was not telling us that, in future centuries, when people within
the household of God were having flashbacks of childhood abuse, they were
supposed to deny all the feelings that would come to the surface. He was not
telling us that, when people had overwhelmingly hopeless feelings of
worthlessness that they were to deny those feelings so that they would stop
cutting themselves, purging, playing video games, or looking at pornography.
The denial of
self never has to do with denying anything about the way we think, feel, or
desire. Instead, it has everything to do with denying our sark as the means of
fixing whatever is wrong with our souls.
The beatitudes
give us help in understanding the difference between denying the sark while
being honest about our souls.[8] Denial
of self is not denying that we are poor in spirit, but facing our poverty of
spirit in the realization that God alone can help us. Denial of self is not denying
that we are mourning, and that we have plenty more to mourn about than we have
already faced. Rather, denial of self means that we bring our mourning to God,
the only person who can comfort our souls. Denial of self is not avoiding the
meekness that acknowledges we cannot fix ourselves, but it is that meekness
that knows every self-dependent attempt to fix what is broken has failed. And,
denial of self is not denying that we feel an insatiable hunger and thirst for
the righteousness we see in Jesus Christ, but that longing actually is the
fruit of true self-denial.
Where would
the psalms be if we removed all the references to personal feelings, thoughts,
and desires? What comfort would we find if they told us to suppress who we are
and how we feel? The Psalms contain no notion that denying self means to deny
what we think, desire, or feel. However, they do give wonderful examples of
what it looks like for people to turn from the self-dependent way of handling
whatever is going on, to a God-dependent way of handling life experience.
For example, look
at this illustration of the kind of self-denial that gives free expression to
the true person who is the beloved child of God. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within
me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”[9]“Why are you cast down, O my soul,” is
the acknowledgement of the way the person feels. “Hope in God,” is the way we deny self as the means of handling
whatever is wrong with the soul. Our sarks would join with false teachers in
telling us to hope in ourselves. The self-denying soul knows it must put its
hope in God or there is no hope at all.
Jesus gave us
the quintessential example of admitting to thoughts, feelings, and desires that
had his soul so overwhelmed with sorrow that he was at the point of death.[10]
He expressed the true desire of his soul when he prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.”[11]
However, because Jesus had never lived in the flesh, and had come to accomplish
all his Father’s will,[12]
he showed his submission to the Father when he added, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” He denied his right
to do what his thoughts, feelings, and desires had prayed, took up his cross in
the ultimate expression of obedience to his Father, and carried out his Father’s
will to the death.[13]
Today's message to
me was that, when Jesus said that we must deny ourselves, take up our cross
daily, and follow him, he was sounding the death-knell to self-dependent ways
of handling anything in our lives. When we can face our poverty of spirit,
mourn how poorly we are doing, meekly accept
we can't fix these things that are broken within us, and so allow our
souls to hunger and thirst after the righteousness we do not have, the
righteousness only provided in Jesus, then we can rely on God to make us righteous.
There was a moment in my time with God this morning where I
literally felt like my new heart was telling my sark: "Enough! You have been
given all the time in the world to get it right, and you have only screwed
everything up! Everything you do is wrong. You are a failure, and will always
be a failure! When I let you be in charge, we end up sinning! When I believe
your claim that you've got my back, I find myself falling on my face all over
again! Enough, Sark; I tell you, ENOUGH!"
The conclusion was that we simply cannot justify handling
anything in the sark. There is no excuse. Whatever we think, feel, and desire,
about anything we face in life, can be handled in our new heart relying on the
Holy Spirit.[14]
Living in the Spirit, in our new heart, is a life we can have right now, even
in an every-level-of-maturity kind of church. All of us CAN deny our sarks
today. We can take up our cross where sark is crucified in Christ, and the life
we now live is lived by faith in Jesus Christ who loved us, and gave himself up
for us on that cross.[15]
Instead of believing we must be in our sarks to handle
something that is going on in or around us, write down the particular thing
that is giving us the "cast
down" soul we spoke of earlier. Instead of trying to handle it
yourself, start praying that God would handle it. Go ahead and tell God all
your feelings about it, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. But then
do the sark-denying thing of telling your heavenly Father, "Not my will, but yours be done."
As we face our feelings, thoughts, and desires with all
honesty, but then sincerely seek God to do what only God can do (including
changing our mind about what we think, feel, and desire), we will find that we
are following Jesus our Savior into the fullest experiences of his kingdom, his
comfort, his lordship, and his righteousness. He will do what we cannot.
©
2014 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless
otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy
Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway
Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)
[1]
This is my preferred choice of words when referring to the flesh as it sounds
closer to the original word used in the Greek. There is no other reason for
using this word than that it seems to stick in people’s minds better, and keeps
the meaning of the word in the forefront.
[2]
Ephesians 4:22
[3]
Ephesians 4:23
[4]
Ephesians 4:24
[5]
II Peter 1:3
[6]
Isaiah 55:9
[7]
Luke 9:23; also in Matthew 16:24, and Mark 8:34
[8]
Focusing on the first four beatitudes of Matthew 5:3-6, poverty of spirit,
mourning, meekness, hungering and thirsting after righteousness.
[9]
Psalm 42:11
[10]
Matthew 26:38
[11]
Luke 22:42
[12]
John 4:34
[13]
Philippians 2:5-11
[14]
Ezekiel 36:26-27
[15]
Galatians 2:20
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