This morning I
woke up late after a rough night with whatever cold/flu bug is going around.
Because my head felt so stuffed and congested I foolishly entertained
God-limiting thoughts about my Father’s ability to get through to me in my
sickly condition. Instead, God cleared my head with a gracious flow of blessing
from his word, filling me with far more comfort, clarification, challenge, and
encouragement, than I could ever have expected. I should have known.
This morning’s
thoughts revolved around words God uses to describe what he does for his
children. Each of the words requires us to be honest about how much we have, or
have not, experienced him doing those things.
It would be
similar to someone saying that, when you eat this particular meal, it is going
to leave you so satisfied; or, when you take this particular medication, it is
going to make you feel so much better; or, when you buy this product off the
infomercial, it is going to make your life so much easier. With such promises,
I want to know if I feel satisfied, if I feel better, if my life is easier, and
whether any experience of these promises measures up to the advertising.
With this in
mind, there are some things I should rightfully expect to experience in my
relationship with God.[1] I
know what it is like to experience the “other” side of these revelations, as in
“brokenhearted and… crushed in spirit;”[2] having,
“a broken spirit; a broken and contrite
heart;”[3]
feeling “brokenhearted” and wounded;[4]
feeling a “contrite and lowly spirit.”[5]
I can easily associate with words like, “poor,
brokenhearted, captives, bound, mourn/mourning, ashes, faint spirit, ruins,
devastations.”[6]
At
the same time, I have to admit that my version of these characteristics may
often be a counterfeit version of what God is addressing. I might be
complaining to God about financial poverty when he is looking for poverty of
spirit. I might expect God to help me because I am brokenhearted about some
blocked goal, when he wants me to feel brokenhearted that I had such a
self-exalting goal in the first place.
I
might want God to help me because I feel captive in a dead-end job, or a
frustrating set of circumstances, when God sees me as captive to sin, and
sarkiness in places I should be seeking to live for his glory. I might feel
bound by failure to attain dreams or desires that would please my sark (flesh),
while God could be confronting me with why I am bound to such worldly ways of
handling life.
I
could be mourning to God about how my life is not working out the way I hoped,
while he is kindly working to bring me to repentance[7] for not mourning my lack of desire for a life that works out the
way he has planned. I could feel like I have been handed ashes instead of
success, while God could be working to show me that my heart is set on things that
are destined to perish in the fires of his judgment.
I
could be crying out to God with the feeling that my spirit is faint and weary,
while God is asking me why I am not seeking to live my life in faith-filled
dependence on the one who would give me strength to do his will.[8] I might be wallowing in the perception that my life is one big
landscape of ruins, while God could be graciously working to ruin my dependence
on worldly, sarky things. I may assess my life as filled with devastations, while
God is calling me to look at his mercies that are new every morning.
Before
I lay claim to the promises of God regarding the brokenhearted, I must first
make sure I fit the description. In other words, if I want to know God in the
ways he reveals himself relating to his broken and contrite children, I must
make sure I am not only one of his children, but in the frame of mind and
attitude his word is talking about.
I
can only have hope that God is relating to me in the wonderful and gracious
ways described in Scripture if my version of “poor” equates with his
description of “poor in spirit.”[9] I can only have hope that he is close to my brokenheartedness if I
am feeling brokenhearted over the sin in my life. I can only expect God to
rescue me from my captivity if I acknowledge that I am captive to sin. I can
only have implicit faith that God is going to break the ties that bind me if I
admit that I am bound to sin, and to the consequences of my sin.
I
can look to God to comfort me in my mourning when I am mourning what my sin has
done to me, and what my sin has kept God from doing for me. I can cry out to
God about the ashes I hold in my hands if I am in a state of contrition about
the meaningless things I have pursued in my sarky little heart. I can expect
God to help me with my faint spirit if I am acknowledging that it is
self-dependence, and digging my own cisterns, and turning away from the spring
of living water,[10] that has wearied my spirit. I can look to God to help me with my
ruins, if I am agreeing with him on which part of my life is the ruins. And, I
can expect God to come to my rescue in the devastations of life if I am in
agreement with him on what a devastated life really looks like.
Now,
given that I have had the heart, soul, and mind adjustments that have brought
me to agreement with God in the true condition of my soul, what should I expect
to experience from God in my honest confession of how I am doing?
Facing
my brokenheartedness should leave me with the gracious, surprising, unexpected
feeling that God is near to me. The more I acknowledge that my spirit is
crushed by my sin and independence, the more I should feel like I am being
saved from what I have brought on myself.[11] When I truly experience the “broken
spirit” and the “broken and contrite
heart” God is looking for, the result I can expect is that I will not feel
despised by God in doing so.[12] When I humbly and honestly admit that my sin and self-dependence
have caused me to experience a wounded and broken heart, I can expect to feel
like God is healing me and binding up my wounds.[13] When I reach the bottom of myself and sincerely experience the
lowliness of spirit, and the contrition of heart he is seeking, my faith can
confidently look up from the depths of the miry pit[14] in the expectation that he will dwell with me, and revive me.[15]
When
I enter into that genuine state of mind that admits the way my own sin and
sarkiness have made me feel poor, brokenhearted, captive, bound, mournful, ash-covered
and surrounded, faint of spirit, ruined, and devastated, I can then expect to feel
like God is bringing me good news through our Lord Jesus Christ. I should feel
like God is binding up that which is broken within me. I should feel the
liberty and freedom of the Holy Spirit replacing all that has made me captive
to sin. I should have regular experiences that fit the description of prison
doors opening and letting me out of longstanding bondage to sin, and my sarky
handling of my sin-problems.
My
daily time in God’s word should feel like God constantly proclaiming his
merciful favor over my life. I should feel the constant assurances of my Father
that his vengeance on the works of the world, the flesh, and the devil, will
come soon enough, so I can leave all matters of vengeance in his hands.[16] I should feel that my mourning is comforted by God, and in such a
way that I am able to comfort others with the comfort that I have received from
him, and from his church.[17]
I
ought to have every expectation of feeling like the glory of God’s work is
replacing the ashes of my works, and that the joy of the Holy Spirit is
replacing my grief over my sin. I should experience God clothing me with the
joy of worship and praise so that the joy of the Lord is my strength,[18] and the righteousness of faith is flourishing in my life. I should
experience the transformation of my ruined life into a growing expression of
the Christlikeness God created in the beginning,[19] a raising up of what sin had devastated within me, a repairing of
what sin had ruined, no matter how long sin has had its way in my life.[20]
The
conclusion for me was that, if we are willing to be genuine in our experience
of everything to do with being broken and contrite before God, we will
genuinely experience everything to do with the way God relates to people such
as us. If he says we can know him in these ways, not even colds, flu-bugs,
depression, childhood abuse, disappointing circumstances, or broken
relationships, can keep us from God’s good and gracious will for his beloved
children.
© 2014 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517,
Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted,
Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English
Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good
News Publishers.)
[1]
All this sharing revolves around: Psalm 34:18; 51:17; 147:3; Isaiah 57:15;
61:1-4
[2]
Psalm 34:18
[3]
Psalm 51:17
[4]
Psalm 147:3
[5]
Isaiah 57:15
[6]
Isaiah 61:1-4
[7]
Romans 2:4
[8]
Philippians 4:13
[9]
Matthew 5:3
[10]
Jeremiah 2:13
[11]
Psalm 34:18
[12]
Psalm 51:17
[13]
Psalm 147:3
[14]
Psalm 40:1-3
[15]
Isaiah 57:15
[16]
Romans 12:19
[17]
II Corinthians 1:3-7
[18]
Nehemiah 8:10
[19]
Genesis 1:26-27; II Corinthians 3:18
[20]
Based on Isaiah 61:1-4
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