Pastoral Pings ~ Bitterness, Forgiveness, or Faith

          This morning I was reminded that one belief regarding handling people who have sinned against us is that we have two options: allow bitterness to control us, or experience freedom through forgiving the person. This reminder got me thinking about how there seem to actually be three options, and that the second and third options are both biblical if properly applied. Here are the three choices:

·         Option 1: To express bitterness to the person, whether they have repented or not.

·         Option 2: Forgive the person if and when they repent.

·         Option 3: If there is no repentance, leave it to the justice and mercy of God to carry out justice or forgiveness according to his sovereign purposes.

          Bitterness is not a real option for God’s people because God says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31) “All” bitterness means exactly that. No matter whether anyone has reconciled with us or not, all sarky (fleshly) attitudes must go.

          Forgiving people when they repent is made very clear by Jesus when he said, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” (Luke 17) Sin gets a rebuke; repentance gets forgiveness. Simple as that.

          Leaving unrepentant sin to God’s justice and mercy (rather than forgiving) is made clear in this Scripture: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). Here we are not told to forgive unrepentant sin, but to “leave it to the wrath of God” because “I will repay, says the Lord”. When we cannot forgive people because they have not repented, we can still have complete freedom from bitterness by leaving their sin to God. He will deal with the person justly.

          One of the things that has helped me to understand that forgiveness is applied when there is repentance, and leaving to the wrath of God is applied to unrepentant persistence in sin, is what Jesus spoke from the cross. Jesus' word from the cross was not, "Father, I forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," which would mean he was forgiving them. His word was, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."[1] He taught us to love and pray for our enemies,[2] and so his word from the cross was the kind of prayer we should present to God on behalf of those who are still unrepentant in their sin against us.

          I do not share this to be argumentative, or to discourage genuine forgiveness where genuine repentance is expressed. However, I do not believe the Scriptures teach us to forgive the unrepentant. Peter did not forgive Ananias and Sapphira when they both were unrepentant regarding their sin.[3] Paul did not call the Corinthians to forgive the man who had brought sin into the congregation, but told them to carry out church discipline.[4] He then taught them to be forgiving when the man had expressed godly grief[5] (repentance) over what he had done.[6]

          I also know that some people rightly struggle with the idea of forgiving someone who is still perpetrating the sin without any repentance. When we teach them to forgive anyway, we are not only doing them a disservice (since there is a better and more scriptural opportunity), but are keeping them from the real freedom of trusting God’s sovereign goodness to handle unrepentant sinners in perfect justice.

          God's example is to treat unrepentant people with justice until there is repentance, when forgiveness is then gladly and freely given. Sometimes this justice should be exercised in church discipline (making sure that all the steps of Matthew 18:15-17[7] are humbly, graciously and lovingly carried out). Other times, when the person is not in a fellowship of believers who will carry out church discipline, we are simply to leave the person in God’s hands. Vengeance is his; he will repay.

          From my heart,

          Monte         

 

‘© 2013 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com

Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)

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[1] Luke 23:24

[2] Matthew 5:44

[3] Acts 5:1-11

[4] I Corinthians 5

[5] “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (II Corinthians 7:10)

[6] II Corinthians 2:5-11

[7] “¹⁵ “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”