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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Pastoral Ponderings ~ From Despond to Delight in One Morning with God

          This morning began with the feeling that my heart had been stripped bare, and all I could think of was how God would ever get through to me so I could know him in such a state of distress. Or, despond. It is mornings like this that I am so thankful God placed in his inspired word such a cry as, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” The fact he included it three times in such a small handful of verses has become quite the treasure to my soul.[1]
          After considerable crying out to God about my state of being (perhaps ‘bellyaching’ would be a more apt description), I considered what the next passage in Revelation could give me to transform me through the renewal of my mind.[2] The statement that stood out to me was concerning “…a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages…”[3]
          There is a consistent work of God in me to lead me to change my focus from earthly things to heavenly things. It is as though my Father comes to me via his Holy Spirit, puts his two hands on my stubbornly preoccupied little face, and lifts my chin upwards so that I see the things that are above, rather than the things that are below.
          What is so significant right now is that, at the moment that I feel my Father lifting my gaze upwards, I do not change my starting place in this day, or this season of life, or this moment of encounter with God. I am just as needy after this hand-on-my-chin experience as before. The only difference is that the upward look into the face of my Father changes which way my heart, soul, and mind will travel through the rest of the day.
          I believe that the book of Revelation is God’s great and wonderful gift to the church, graciously enabling us to do something that none of us seem to do very well, and that is to look up. I don’t mean the “stiff upper lip” thing, or the advice of “keep your chin up”. Both of these imply a dependence on self-reliance to handle emotions, rather than looking up to heaven for help with whatever unruly and debilitating feelings we are facing, in whatever impossible and hopeless circumstances we are enduring.
          The Book of Revelation is one way that God ministers to us so we can do his will. There is no way we can look at all the letters to the churches, or the descriptive pictures of the book of Revelation, and imagine that God demands more of us than we can give. It is quite the opposite. He is the Father taking care of his weak and helpless children.[4] He is the Shepherd who knows what it is like to watch his sheep scatter because the Shepherd was struck down.[5] He did not leave us with a book to follow on our own strength. He did not leave us alone, to handle the army of the red dragon as sheep without a shepherd. He said, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you,”[6] and that is exactly what he has done.
          Jesus did not only come to us in the person of the Holy Spirit who came as promised on the Day of Pentecost.[7] Jesus has also come to us through his word. He tells us that our faith comes from hearing (not seeing), and our hearing comes from the words of Christ, now gloriously recorded in the sacred and wonderful Scriptures of the New Testament.[8]
          And so, he gives us words to hear over and over again. The Spirit speaks to us through the letters to the seven churches so that he can say to every Christian, every generation of the church, every situation we are going through, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”[9] Every such declaration from God’s word tells us, God is with us![10] He will never leave us nor forsake us![11]
          And so, Father takes our chin in his hands and lifts our gaze upward where we can look to Jesus,[12] and consider him.[13] He does not leave us to find the strength within ourselves to look above, but turns our gaze upwards with his own words, the very words that will build up our faith, and enable us to find his strength working in us, causing us to see what he wants us to see.
          When God’s word exhorts us to, “seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God,”[14] and to, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth,”[15] it is the personal presence of God ministering to our hearts through his words, and by his Spirit, so that we can feel his hand leading us, and helping us, to do the very thing he wants us to experience.
          Now, here is the really big discovery from this morning. As I felt what I equate as Father lifting my chin up so I would look into the throne room of heaven,[16] it was not so that I would stop feeling the things I was feeling, but so that I would pour out these feelings to him instead of wallowing in them with my eyes looking down at my mud-stuck feet.
          In other words, as soon as I realized what Father was doing, and that he was making me look up at him, the feelings I was struggling with did not immediately go away; they became more intense! They did not dissipate in the light of God’s glorious grace, but the glory of his grace drew me to know that I could be a little child telling my Father all about what I was thinking, and feeling, and wondering.
          My Father WANTED me to pour out my heart to him![17] He wanted me to feel my pain, and heartache, and sorrow, and grief, and confusion, and hopelessness; but with HIM! He wasn’t turning my face towards his face so that I could be brave, and be strong, and do the right thing, and be better behaved, or to set a good example (at least in the sense I imagined). He was turning my face towards his face so I could SEE the face of my Shepherd, and Father, and Comforter.
          The result of all this was that I came to experience this particular revelation of Scripture better than I had ever appreciated it before: “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”[18]
          So, God shone into my heart THE WAY MY HEART WAS, to give me the experience of looking into “the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” However, he did not do this as some divine magician who suddenly made everything in my heart go away. Rather, it was so that I could see the face of the one person to whom I could safely pour out everything that was in my heart.
          And, I have to say, that was exactly what I needed. I wouldn’t say that I immediately felt all better, as though the condition of our souls changes in an instant. Rather, I would say that I felt hopeful. The dark, worthless, hopeless, feelings that surrounded my heartaches and sorrows were replaced by light-filled, beloved child, feelings of hope.
          The fact is that my Father is not going to stop shining down on me with “the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God,”[19] so I might as well keep looking up at him and his throne room of heaven, where we can, “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”[20]
          This morning I approached that throne of grace with such darkness around my soul that I wasn’t sure what my Father would do to change me in the least.[21] After he lifted my dirty little face towards his heavenly countenance, I can honestly say that he showered me with mercy, and gave me the grace to help me in my time of need, almost like he was already waiting for me when my first despondent thought brought me to him this morning.

© 2014 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)





[1] Psalm 42:5,11; 43:5
[2] As Romans 12:2 promises.
[3] Revelation 7:9
[4] Psalm 103:13-14
[5] Matthew 26:31; Mark 14:27
[6] John 14:18
[7] See Acts 2
[8] Romans 10:17
[9] Revelation 2:7 (repeated in all the other six letters)
[10] Matthew 1:23
[11] Hebrews 13:5
[12] Hebrews 12:2
[13] Hebrews 12:3
[14] Colossians 3:1
[15] Colossians 3:2
[16] This summarizes my whole journey through the book of Revelation thus far.
[17] His word says so! Psalm 62:8; Lamentations 2:19
[18] II Corinthians 4:6
[19] II Corinthians 4:4
[20] Hebrews 4:16
[21] I didn’t doubt that he could, only that I couldn’t see any sign of how he would.

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