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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Pastoral Ponderings ~ From Attachment Pain to Attachment Joy

          For some time I have been growing in my understanding of something called “attachment pain”. God designed us to attach to people, and to him, and when these attachments do not happen at the right times and stages of life, there is a distinctive pain that fills up the deepest places of our hearts.

          As I look back over the years, I can see this strangely distinctive thread of pain woven through my life. I have had very few memories to explain the intensity of the pain; it has simply been there. It has helped me understand why North American men hate to cry, and will do anything to justify the idea that avoiding tears is a very normal thing to do. It is because, underneath some present experience that may threaten to bring us to tears, is a whole world of pain that feels like the floodwaters behind a dam. We do not want to open the floodgates of our tears for fear that the power of the pain will wipe out the whole dam and leave us a devastated, quivering mass of nothingness on the floor, fully exposed, naked, and very much ashamed.

          When I consider the way that God has ministered to me according to his word, constantly working to “heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds”,[1] I can see how he has used the heartaches of life to lead me to know him. His promise is true that declares, Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”[2] It is a simple law that our mourning before God leads us into the experience of comforts we would never have known if we had tried to handle our heartaches in the flesh (sark), instead of in the presence of God. Be assured that, if reading an article like this feels as though it is pressing too close to something painful in your heart, God will not address any wound within your soul without blessing you with the comforts that he has promised.[3]

          The real point of what I want to share today is that I found a strange and delightful blessing in my exploration of the visions of Revelation, Daniel, and Ezekiel, and it brought me to a feeling that was the polar opposite to attachment pain. The only way I could describe it was “attachment joy”, or “attachment pleasure”. It was as though God had personally led me over a very long path, one that had wended its way through many narrow and lonely canyons, in order to bring me to a lookout where I could capture a glimpse of the trail I had been traveling for some time. It was as though every isolated event suddenly fell into place in a grand testimony of how God works all things together for the good of his children.[4]

          What stirred this feeling of attachment joy was the realization that Ezekiel, Daniel, and Revelation, were written to God’s people in exile. God gave us visions of heaven to help us through the troubling things his people go through on earth. He gave us pictures we could remember, revelations to fill our hearts and minds, while we live as strangers in a foreign land.[5]

          The feeling that came into my heart with the simplicity of an insight into the gift of grace in God’s revelations was the opposite of attachment pain. Attachment pain happens over things we do not understand. We suddenly think of someone, or are in a situation, or are going through an experience, and something about it pierces us as deeply as we can be pierced. It is so deep, and so painful, that we know we are dealing with something that is real, even though we may not be able to identify what it is.

          When I considered the revelations to Joseph while he was in prison, to Moses while he was a fugitive, to the exiles coming out of Egypt, to Ezekiel and Daniel while they were in exile, and to John while he was on Patmos, I was overwhelmed by the wonder of attachment joy. We may be going through a situation that has no joy in it whatsoever, but the revelations of God are filled with suggestions of the pleasures that are at his right hand, and will soon be ours forevermore.[6]

          One of the most beautiful pictures of attachment joy is in John 15 where Jesus describes himself as the true vine, and his disciples as his branches. He describes his followers as “every branch in me”,[7] identifying the “in Christ” quality of the Christian life that is profoundly, strongly, and undeniably displayed throughout the rest of the New Testament.[8]

          Jesus states his description of our life in him like this: Abide in me, and I in you.”[9] This strikes me in a very special way because it presents a reality that is far superior to the illustration itself. A branch attaches “to” a vine, but Jesus speaks of us abiding “in” him. We are not some mere appendage attached to Jesus, but are a living part of him. He created us to be in his image and likeness,[10] and so he speaks of us as branches of the one true vine, abiding in him, remaining in him, living in him, and loving in him.

          Jesus encouraged our faith in our attachment to him with some significant promises. He said, Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”[11] In the same way that a grape plant can only bear fruit on the branches that are attached to the vine, Jesus makes clear that we can only be fruitful disciples and churches as we are in that abiding attachment to him. While one side of the picture makes clear that we can only bear fruit through our attachment to him, the other side of the picture is that we will bear fruit through our attachment to him.

          Another thing Jesus said would be characteristic of our abiding attachment to him is: “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”[12] There is something about attachment to Jesus that must be described as “abide”, or “remain”, or “live” in him. If our words in prayer are an expression of us abiding in him, and his words abiding in us, he will gladly do what we are asking for because we are asking for the things that have already been revealed to us from his own heart.

          Paul explained this when he wrote: Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”[13] The more churches work out our salvation with the “fear and trembling” of branches that know we only have life in the vine, the more we will have the joy of seeing our prayers answered because they are expressions of the work God is doing in us to bring us to “will and to work for his good pleasure”.

          However, let us be assured that, while Jesus wants us to consider our attachment to him with such seriousness that we feel some measure of “fear and trembling” as we “work out our salvation”, that his aim is for us to feel attachment joy and pleasure in our relationship with him. Along with the promise of bearing fruit, and experiencing answered prayer, Jesus added this: “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”[14]

          Jesus did not simply promise that, because he spoke words to his disciples, those words would fill them with joy to the full. Rather, he promised that, because of the words he had spoken to his disciples then, and still speaks to his disciples now, both individual believers and church-groups can enter into that abiding attachment with him that gives us joy. He gave us these words, these instructions, these love-commands, so that, when we walk in them, we will find the joy that he has for us, and that he has in himself.

          The reason I have so often had episodes of unexplainable, intense pain that has shaken me to the core of my being, is because God has been working to heal my brokenheartedness with his love and joy. He has been quite unwilling to let me handle things in my flesh. His love would not allow him to let me settle for pseudo-joy in the mirage that I am handling my life just fine, when I could have the real joy of feeling what it is like to be his beloved child.

          All my attachment pain told me that I was an unlovable orphan, and that I just had to try hard to be good so that I could get by in life. God has been speaking for a long time above the cries of my pain, and listening to him is certainly paying off. My joy grows as he teaches me that I am a beloved, adopted, treasured child of God; a chosen, sought out, and redeemed sheep of his pasture; a kingly priest in a royal priesthood, a citizen of a holy nation, a chosen member of the very body of the Lord Jesus Christ, and, a joy-maturing branch of the joy-filled vine.

          From my heart,

          Monte


 
© 2013 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)



[1] Psalm 147:3
[2] Matthew 5:4
[3] Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (II Corinthians 1)
[4] 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” (Romans 8)
[5] “These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.” (Hebrews 11:13); But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. (Hebrews 11:16)
[6] “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 16:11)
[7] John 15:2
[8] The whole book of Ephesians expresses our attachment “in Christ” very strongly. The first chapter alone establishes our place “in him” with stunning beauty that is designed to fill our hearts with joy.
[9] John 15:4
[10] Genesis 1:26-27
[11] John 15:5
[12] John 15:7
[13] Philippians 2:12-13
[14] John 15:11

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