There are many
who represent the world of people who have good relationships with their Dads,
and look at Father’s Day as a good opportunity to show their appreciation.
There are songs and videos galore of people honoring good men who were good
Dads to their children, and often to their children’s friends.
And then,
there are the orphans. For them, there is the big, silent, scary world of
people who hate the annual cycle of Father’s Day for its painful, mocking
reminder that the wonderful experience enjoyed by others was and is never
theirs. I have known many of these people.
While I
address the plight of the orphan-hearted people who feel that Father’s Day is a
despised reminder of what they lost, I include the scenario of the many fathers
who live in both worlds. They live in the world of the fathers who neglected and/or
hurt their children, and they live in the world of the orphan boys who were
neglected and/or hurt by their fathers. They feel the pain of what was taken
away from them at a young age, and the shame and guilt of their own failures
that jump out and haunt them every time this day makes its annual cycle.
What do we do
with this? I admit, there was the temptation this morning to go looking through
the Scriptures for words of comfort to each person no matter what pain surfaces
around Father’s Day. There are Scriptures about God healing the brokenhearted
and binding up their wounds,[1]
covering any way that anyone has been hurt by the neglect or abuse of a father.
There are Scriptures about God forgiving every sin anyone would ever confess to
him,[2]
covering any ways that fathers and children have sinned against each other.
However, my
way of life for a long time has been to pay special attention to whatever God
is teaching me at the present time, and apply that to whatever ministry needs I
am facing. God has the wisdom to apply his word to anything his children are
going through, and to minister to the deep needs of our hearts more profoundly
than even our own personal word-search of Scripture could ever accomplish.
So, for this
post, I am simply going to share the Scriptures God used to minister to me
today, and trust that he will apply them where needed, and to their maximum
benefit to fathers and children in Jesus Christ our Savior.
First, I am
still pondering this Scripture: “Around
the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four
elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads.”[3] It
tells me that, no matter what anyone has experienced from a broken father,
there are twenty-four elders with clean hands and pure hearts representing us
before the throne of the one who has the appearance of jasper and carnelian,
and such glorious holiness, righteousness, justice, steadfast love, and
faithfulness, that they cannot help but fall before him in joyful worship every
time the sound of his praises rings in their hearts.
Second, as I
consider what it means that God’s children are, “a holy priesthood”,[4]
and “a royal priesthood”,[5]
I find much comfort in Scriptures that tell us how this holy, royal priesthood
relates to the injustices they face throughout the course of their lives. For
example, Peter wrote, “For
this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while
suffering unjustly.”[6] Although we can’t fully know how to do this when we are children,
this Scripture invites us to be so mindful of God now, the kind of Father he
is, and how his steadfast love and faithfulness cover our lives with healing,
restoration, and forgiveness, that we experience the graciousness of enduring
the sorrows of our hearts while suffering unjustly. We can take comfort in the
fact that God acknowledges our unjust suffering, and the sorrows we endure. However,
he calls us to a greater comfort in being more mindful of him as our eternally
adoptive Father[7] than we are mindful of any unjust suffering we have experienced in
our lives.
One of the
reasons that people feel such a surge of sorrows at Father’s Day is because we
fall into the habit of rehearsing the painful experiences that surround this
day. As one who has put my share of tears in God’s bottle,[8] I
never disparage any opportunity to pour out whatever pain lingers (or storms)
in my heart. However, this whole “mindful
of God” thing presents an opportunity to add something to the picture. The
Psalm-writers would never tell us to avoid expressing to God something we are
feeling in our hearts. However, they would direct our attention from whatever
pain we have poured out to God, up to the God who is now handling our pain and
sorrow and grief with a good and gracious heart.
So, when I
continue reading and find that Peter adds this encouragement, “But if when you do good
and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God,”[9] I am reminded to look at things the way they are “in the sight of God”. What is painful
and debilitating here below is “a
gracious thing” from God’s viewpoint. Many children have tried to “do good” in their relationship with
their dads and suffered because of it. As children, we get broken over such
things. But, as we grow older, we hear of a Savior who brings us to a heavenly
Father who is far different than we have experienced from other men. He draws us out of our sarky self-protection,
and our self-dependent coping strategies, to find in him this gracious thing of
a heart that is turned heavenward to consider the God who sees all, and handles
all in ways deserving of glory.
While we may
feel that God expects much of us to patiently endure suffering because we are
mindful of him, we also have Jesus’ example to guide us along our way. Peter
continued in his letter, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered,
he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”[10] Jesus entrusted himself to his Father as “him who judges justly.” The picture of the throne room of heaven
in Revelation 4 is to show us the God who always judges justly. We endure the
present unjust suffering, no matter whom it is from, because there is a future
justice that will do what is right to everyone who is not righteous in Jesus Christ.
God’s word
instructs us to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice,” and “weep with those who weep.”[11]
This means that, even on Father’s Day, we should be able to rejoice with those
who feel they have much to be thankful for, and weep with those who feel that
Father’s Day is just another reminder of their worthlessness. At the very
least, we should worship God as the one who could make both of these happen
simultaneously if a church family was willing to surrender to his grace in
doing so.
I write this
because I believe that Jesus Christ would heal children, and fathers, even when
the hurts and heartaches cover multi-generational relationships. However many
generations of broken relationships are still alive in any given family could
all come together in Jesus Christ and find healing beyond their wildest dreams.
All the sins could be forgiven. All the wounds could be healed. All the
blindness could be restored to sight. All the captivity could be bound so the
prisoners of family sorrows and fears could be liberated. All the oppression
could be crushed so that those crushed by oppression could be released to walk
in the day of the Lord’s favor.[12]
When anyone
must continue to walk alone, isolated from family relationships that no one
wants to address, pray like this, “Our
Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on
earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our
debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.”[13]
From my heart,
Monte
©
2013 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless
otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy
Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway
Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)
[1]
Psalm 147:3
[2]
I John 1:9
[3]
Revelation 4:4
[4]
I Peter 2:5
[5]
I Peter 2:9
[6]
I Peter 2:19
[7]
“3 Blessed
be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ
with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation
of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love
5 he predestined us for adoption
as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
6 to the praise of his
glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1)
[8]
“You have kept count of my tossings; put
my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”
(Psalm 56:8)
[9]
I Peter 2:20
[10]
I Peter 2:23
[11]
Romans 12:15
[12]
See Isaiah 61, and Luke 4:16-30 (Pay special attention to what Jesus offered in
his home town, and how he continued to offer it even though they all wanted to
kill him)
[13]
(Matthew 6:9-13)
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