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Monday, July 27, 2015

Pastoral Ponderings ~ Changing Our Prayer-focus to Changing Ourselves


          I sometimes find myself asking God to do something for me, or to me, when the real need is that I would be free to respond to what he is already doing. In such cases, I have been considering how to adjust my praying so that it reflects what I want to happen with me, not what I want him to do for me.[1]
          While it is natural for us to ask God to help us through the difficulties of life, I am thinking about what I need to ask him to help me do in response to him. Since “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble,”[2] I really don’t need to ask him to be my refuge and strength, or to help me in my trouble. This is already who he is and what he does.[3]
          However, as I consider that God “is our refuge and strength,” the thing I need to pray for is that any pride in me would be crushed so that I would not resist running to him for refuge. I need to pray for the faith that believes his “very present help in trouble” will indeed help me in the very present trouble I am going through. I may need to pray that God would thoroughly expose any self-protection in me that perceives its own self as a better refuge than hiding in God, and any fleshly confidence that thinks I can get more strength from myself than from humbling myself before the mighty hand of God.[4]
          I do not need to ask God to be gracious towards me, or to grant me mercy and grace “to help in time of need.”[5] However, I may need to ask him to help me to “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace” in order to avail myself of the grace, mercy, and help that is freely offered if I would show up to receive it.
          We could look at many more examples where Scripture already shows us what God is doing for the care of his people. We do not need to ask him to do what is already in effect. We may need to ask him that we could really know him like that, but, again, that is back to us praying for ourselves and our receptivity to him and his work, not trying to convince him to do something he already promised to do.
          Recently, a young lady asked me a question about something we were going to do in the daycare that day. When I gave her my answer, her response was, “Really?” For some reason it intrigued me that my answer wasn’t met with an affirmative, “Oh yes! Great! Thank you! I can hardly wait!” all things that fit what we were planning to do. Instead, the response was one of doubt and uncertainty, as though there was some question that things would actually happen the way I described.
          While there are all kinds of reasons why children might need assurances that something we told them is what we really plan to do, it struck me that I often hear people relating to God in the same way. Their prayers are not focused on confident requests to experience his will in us, but on questioning prayers, asking God to please do for them what he has already said he is doing. We read the promises of his word with, “really?” rather than, “Praise the Lord for his marvelous grace to his beloved little children like me!”
          Where is the problem? For many Christians it is a mix of too many experiences where they “tried” prayer and it didn’t “work”, reinforcing the wrong belief that God doesn’t care for them as much as for others, and a lifetime of disappointments in relationships where family and church members have taught them that they don’t deserve anything good from anyone, especially God.
          Knowing the soul-condition many people are starting with, we must be very patient, gracious, and merciful in the “love covers a multitude of sins”[6] kind of way, understanding that people may very well need help, healing, and freedom in order to mature in their focus in prayer.
          An example of this change of focus is revealed in Jesus’ encounter with a man who was desperately crying out for help with his child.[7] The need was that his son “is an epileptic and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water.”[8] Mark adds, “he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid.”[9] The problem was that the man brought his son to Jesus’ disciples, “and they could not heal him.”[10] Now Jesus himself was available, so what would happen?
          As Jesus questioned the father about how long this had been happening to the boy, the man described the situation, and then expressed his desperate longing, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”[11] While the problem the man faced was the hopeless situation of his son’s demon-induced seizures, the wording of his prayer put the focus on Jesus’ qualifications for doing something, not on the desperate need of his son.
          I do not address this as though I am insensitive to the things we blurt out in prayer when we feel helpless and defenseless. I am not suggesting we adopt a legalistic approach that thinks through every word carefully to make sure we say things in just the right way. I firmly believe that God draws out of us where we are starting from in order to help us get to know him as he really is.
          What I am showing (to myself as much as anyone else) is an example of how the man’s focus was on Jesus’ ability, something that was indisputable from Jesus’ perspective. Jesus immediately addressed this by saying, “If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”[12] In other words, why pray, “Jesus, if you can do anything,” when it is already settled that “with God all things are possible.”[13]
          The father’s adjustment to this sudden lesson was very clear. “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’”[14] The focus changed from asking Jesus to do what he was already very able to do, to addressing the issue of the man’s heart, that he needed help with his unbelief.
          Jesus, of course, did what he was fully able to do in healing the man’s son, and in helping the man with his unbelief. He was not hindered just because the man prayed in the “wrong” way. He met the man where his wrong beliefs where hindering his faith, and revealed himself in the way the man needed to know him.
          In fact, what prompted this post was that I had just prayed something that focused on asking God to do something he was already doing (“Father, I ask for your guidance.”). There was no swift kick in the behind, or slap upside the head, just because I had worded things the wrong way.
          It was more like the Spirit continued a work he was already doing in me, teaching me all things, and reminding me of things I already knew,[15] so that I would personally benefit from a refined focus on the help I needed with my response to God’s guidance, rather than trying to convince God to guide me in ways he had already said he does for his people.[16] Instead of, “Father, I ask for your guidance,” it became, “Actually, how do I say that so it speaks of my willingness to receive what you are already doing?!”
          My aim in sharing this is to encourage us all to think about how to focus our prayers on what we need God to do to lead and help us in any particular response to him, rather than prayers that ask God to do things that he is already doing. It isn’t about the specific words we use, but more the direction we are looking. Are we praying for God, or praying for ourselves?
          While we will often find ourselves praying that God would do something for us, it will more often be the case that we should direct our prayers to the way we are responding to what he is already doing. If he promises that the church that remains and abides in him as a branch to the vine will bear much fruit to the Father’s glory,[17] we don’t need to pray that he would give us much fruit, something he is already working to do in us. Instead, we do need to pray about our full submission to abiding in him, and remaining in him, as fully as is possible this side of heaven. If we abide in him as the branches, he will cause much fruit to grow whether we ever ask him for this or not. It is a promise.
          I do not intend to put too much attention on holding back prayers for God to do things for me. Instead, I want to watch for how my soul naturally calls out to God, and see if there are any ways I can adjust my focus from things I’m trying to convince God to do, to things he’s trying to convince me to do.
          The more responsive I am to him and what he is doing, the greater the experience of the blessings of his presence and his work. He doesn’t need my help, and I certainly do need his help, so I will ask him to change the person who really does need changing (me), and watch what happens as he humbles me to rest, receive, and enjoy his good work.

© 2015 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)




[1] I fully believe in asking God to do things for me that reflect my best understanding of his will, asking for freedom, deliverance, courage, joy, etc. In this case I am only addressing those things where I realize God is already doing something as revealed in his word, therefore my attention should be on my receptivity to what he is doing, not trying to urge him to do something he is already doing far more than I could imagine.
[2] Psalm 46:1
[3] Again, I do not have any problem with people asking God to do be our refuge and strength, or to be our very present help in trouble. Such prayers typically reflect our desire to experience him in the ways his word reveals rather than suggesting that he isn’t doing those things and our prayers will convince him to start. This post is only about the distinctive aspect of prayer in which we seek God to help us in our response to him, and to things his word tells us he is always working on for his good pleasure, and for the good of his people.
[4] Psalm 147:6; James 4:10; I Peter 5:6
[5] Hebrews 4:16
[6] I Peter 4:8
[7] Matthew 17:14-20; Mark 9:14-29
[8] Matthew 17:15
[9] Mark 9:17-18
[10] Matthew 17:16
[11] Mark 9:22
[12] Mark 9:23
[13] Matthew 19:26; Mark 10:27
[14] Mark 9:24
[15] John 14:26
[16] Psalm 48:14; Psalm 73:24; Isaiah 58:11; John 16:13
[17] John 15:1-11, specifically, John 15:5-8

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