Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the
witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. And
as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And
falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this
sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. And Saul approved
of his execution. (Acts 7:58-8:1)
Sometime in the
past couple of weeks, someone posted another stereotypical post about
Christians only having two options in dealing with how we relate to those who
wrong us. One option is always presented as forgiveness (even if the person
hasn’t repented), the other option is always presented as anger or bitterness. Since
we all know we shouldn’t give room for sinful anger or bitterness, we are
tricked into thinking we must then choose to forgive people who have never
repented of what they have done.
When I ask people
who believe this where in the Bible do we have an example of God, the prophets,
Jesus, or the apostles forgiving someone who is clearly unrepentant, I am never
given a text where this is shown. I can show multiple examples of unrepentant
people not being forgiven, but there isn’t one example where a person is unrepentant
about their sin but is forgiven anyway.
However, there are
two Scriptures that are claimed as proof that we are to forgive unrepentant
people. One is when Jesus from the cross prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what
they do.” The other
is when Stephen was dying and he prayed, “Lord, do not hold this sin against
them.” I am told that this was them forgiving their enemies. And,
because I just came to Stephen’s prayer this morning, it seems timely to once
again share some very liberating insights.
My response to the claim
that Jesus and Stephen were forgiving their enemies is always something to the
effect of, “Read it again.” If the texts were telling us that Jesus and Stephen
were forgiving their persecutors, the wording would need to be from Jesus, “Father,
I forgive them…”, and from Stephen, “Lord, I do not hold this sin against them.”
The wording by both
Jesus and Stephen is prayer. They are both talking to “our Father in heaven”,
and they are both praying for their persecutors. When we realize Jesus DID
instruct us to pray for our persecutors, and we see that this is what Jesus was
doing, we can back up a bit and ask ourselves what it would look like for us to
pray for our enemies like that.
Back in 1993, I was
introduced to the concept of “freedom in Christ”. I was on the verge of heading
through one of the most painful valleys of my life as childhood trauma and
abuse came leaking out of my people. I began to see how many Scriptures spoke
of God doing things for us that I had not seen him doing in me or others, and I
felt a longing to experience God the way I was learning in his word.
In the 3+ decades
since then, it has become clear to me why it is so important to show people the
difference between praying that God would forgive someone (like Jesus and
Stephen did) and just forgiving them even if they haven’t repented (which can’t
be found in Scripture). When we know that God never forgives people until they
repent, then our prayer for their forgiveness is with the understanding that
people “presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not
knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”.
Why do we need God’s
kindness leading us to repentance if we are forgiven without repenting? If all
our sins are cancelled without repenting, why did Jesus say that “repentance
for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations,
beginning from Jerusalem” (Luke 24:7)? There is no forgiveness anywhere in the
Bible without repentance.
It is very
liberating for abused and traumatized people to understand that no one is
forgiven until they repent. Their abusers, their persecutors, their enemies, will
not be forgiven unless they repent. If we pray for God to bless them, he won’t
answer that prayer without humbling them to repentance first.
So, instead of
these victims cringing at the feeling of injustice with the “just forgive”
mantra that can’t be found in the Bible, they can let God lead them into his
grace where they truly want God to reach those people with his love and mercy
because they have no hope until they repent and are forgiven.
And when we can
truly pray for these people that God would forgive them, and we know this can
only happen if they repent, we are able to accept God’s will in this because we
can allow ourselves to want these people to experience God’s kindness leading
them to repentance just as we experienced for ourselves.
I know I am in the
minority when I show these things from God’s word. If you’re not convinced, I’m
still waiting for someone to show me a scene in Scripture where someone is
clearly unrepentant and either Yahweh or his prophets in the Old Testament, or Jesus
and his apostles in the New Testament, forgave the unrepentant person who was
continuing in sin. In all my times through the Bible, I have not come across
one instance of this.
To encourage me in
this viewpoint of Stephen’s prayer for his persecutors (not him forgiving his
enemies), I found this comment from William Hendriksen in his commentary on
Acts 7. He wrote,
Reflecting on the death of Stephen and Paul’s
consent, Augustine made this penetrating comment:
“If
Stephen had not prayed,
the
church would not have had Paul.”[1]
“If Stephen had not prayed,
the church would not have had Paul.”[1]
Augustine (and William Hendriksen with him) saw that Stephen’s
prayer, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them,” is linked to our
introduction to sinful Saul, who became the beloved apostle Paul. When we
continue down the road and see how God’s kindness brought Paul to repentance,
we can see how Stephen’s prayer was answered in God’s gift to Paul of
repentance and faith.
For me, this hit
the bull’s eye of my heart today, not as a way to win a debate on the topic of “to
forgive or not to forgive”, but to realize that I have “Sauls” in my life who
need me to pray for their forgiveness. I know God will only answer that prayer
by leading them to repentance (I have lots of Beatitudinal Valley illustrations
to go along with this), and I know I want them to experience that mercy from
God as I have on so many occasions.
Ultimately, we do
not pray to make God do something our way. Our praying is to line us up with
God’s will. God leading me to pray this way is his will, and it is up to him if
I ever see the answer. Stephen did not see his prayer answered that day because
he died just seconds later. But seeing Paul’s arrival in eternity some decades later
(whatever that feels like in the spiritual realm) would have been an experience
of joy filled with praise to God.
Today, I will pray in hope and praise in confidence. God will work it for good, and I might live long enough to see some of my Sauls reconcile with both God and his people. In the meantime, praying the way Jesus and Stephen did keeps my heart free, and that’s what the people in my life need from me each day.
© 2025
Monte Vigh ~ Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8
Email: in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are from the
English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text
Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of
Good News Publishers.)
[1]
Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953–2001). Exposition of the Acts of
the Apostles (Vol. 17, pp. 281–282). Baker Book House.
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