Ever since I began walking with people
through the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, and the corresponding eating disorders,
dissociation, and other coping skills that were relied upon, people have
accused me of teaching that we need to constantly dig up the past in order to
experience freedom in Christ.
In fact, some have gone so far as to say
that everything that has ever happened to us has been nailed to the cross, and
Christians don’t have problems like that to deal with any longer, so stop
picking at their wounds! OUCH!!! What a slap in the face to any child of God
whose weak faith clings to the promises of their Savior that he heals the
brokenhearted and binds up their wounds!
Here’s what I really believe about the
trauma of childhood abuse that is NOT a matter of digging up the past.[1]
Let’s begin with an illustration.
Let’s say you’re hiking along a beautiful
trail and you come across someone who is clearly bogged down and struggling
with some heavy weight. As you look at the person you notice that his or her
backpack seems exceptionally large, and it is sagging as though carrying
something far heavier than anything that would be required for the hike. You also
see that they are dragging broken chains along that are attached to shackles
around their ankles.
From your viewpoint, it is easy to see what
is wrong. The shackles and the heavy backpack are presenting an intolerable
burden, and something has to be removed to lighten their load.
However, when you mention to the person
that you would like to help them remove these burdens he or she says that they
were told that because these were attached to their journey in the past there
was nothing they could do about them in the present. “The past is the past,”
they declare, “and there is nothing we can do to go back and change anything.”
“But they’re holding you back right now!”
you gently exclaim the obvious.
Now, it would be fun to develop this into a
story, and I’m sure some of you have a story that immediately comes to mind
with such imagery. However, my point is simple: I have never met anyone who is
handling childhood trauma with the coping skills of denial, or dissociation, or
an eating disorder, or drugs, or alcohol, or technology, or whatever addictions
anyone prefers, whose past is in the past.
In a sense, it doesn’t matter how long ago
someone dropped a bunch of rocks in their backpack if the rocks are presently
hindering their progress. The rocks in the backpack are a problem in the present
no matter how long they have been there.
So too, if someone knows that they have a
relationship with God that is based on nothing but the faith that he has taken
hold of them through the gospel and will not let them go, but they are
regularly hit with implicit-memory reactions to certain people they meet, or
certain stories on the news, or certain circumstances, or places, or events, their
wounds from the past are still the wounds of their present.
What should we do with such things? First,
we begin by starting (or continuing) to pour out our hearts to Jesus Christ for
whatever we still need of his healing for the brokenhearted and his binding up
of our wounds.[2]
It matters not how long ago a wound occurred; if it is still wounded, it still
needs Jesus to heal it. Ask, seek, and knock, until you have received, found,
and opened your heart to Jesus’ healing.[3]
Second, ask Jesus to give you help through
other children of God so that you can benefit from whatever he is doing in his
people. As what is good for the health of the whole body is good for the
wounded members of the body, so we need to ask Jesus to unite us with healthy
members of his body so we can benefit from their hope, and faith, and love for
the increase of our own hope, and faith, and love.[4]
Third, if pulling the stinking, rotten,
bandages off of old wounds means it hurts a bit more for a little while, endure
the little while for the greater good of being healed and free in Jesus Christ.
Our dissociative attempts at self-protection have not healed one little thing
within us, and neither have they truly numbed the pain of our past and present
wounds.
Go to the Great Physician with whatever he
shows you and rest in the glorious promise that, “blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”[5].
Mourn your wounds, and your self-dependent and sinful handling of your wounds,
so that the God of all comfort can comfort you both now and forever.[6] He
will comfort both in person, and through his body.
© 2017 Monte Vigh ~
Box 517, Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise
noted, Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible,
English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway
Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.)
[1] People will often have
issues from the past come to mind as they seek to know God with all their heart
and soul, but our aim is not to deliberately go digging up past memories to get
people reliving old trauma. If something does come up, it is simply
incorporated in how we seek God for the healing that is required.
[2] Psalm 147:3
[3] Matthew 7:7-12
[4] All the letters to the
churches in the New Testament are written to help God’s children know how to
walk together as the one body of Christ. This includes using our spiritual
gifts to serve one another in love. We band together as the church (which could
be a group of people meeting in a home to seek God for such things) in order to
see how Jesus as our head would mobilize his body to accomplish his will. See I
Corinthians 12-14 for an indepth description of how spiritual gifts operate in
the church, but keep the attention on Jesus as our head providing what we need
through his body, even if we can’t ever describe what spiritual gifts he used
to accomplish his work. We may only remember the people who helped, not
anything specific they did!
[5] Matthew 5:4
[6] II Corinthians 1:3-5
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