One of the wonderfully
meaningful facets of walking with God this past couple of decades has been the relationship
between my circumstances, and the things God speaks through his word. There
have been times that whatever I read in the word on a particular morning was so
precisely pointed at something I was going through that I have no doubt God was
revealing things to me by his Spirit, just as his word says he would do.[1]
This moment in
time is particularly difficult for me because we are watching a little boy
grieving as he is about to lose some of his most important relationships. I
have to say it is one of the most painful things I have witnessed in a long
time.
After years of
studying the effects of trauma on children, walking with adults who never had healing
from their own childhood trauma, and working with children with whom we can focus
on constantly returning them to joy, my heart is painfully torn with what to
think, feel, and do. It feels like watching a completely preventable accident
in slow motion, feeling like there has to be time to protect the child from
harm, and yet unable to do anything to stop the inevitable.
So, what would
my heavenly Father have for me as I face my own grief in fellowship with a
child’s grief? I know what it feels like to be an adult grieving childhood
wounds, but what does it feel like to be a child facing a loss that is coming
far too quickly? Is there anything we can do?
As a child, I
remember what it was like to move away from the tiny village of Sandspit after
seven years of the best childhood ever. I had no idea what I was losing in both
the significance of the place I still consider my hometown, or the importance
of my friendships with other children. The insatiable need to “go back” stayed
with me for a long time.
What about
when a child is conscious of what and who he is leaving? What about when my own
heart is in an eyes-wide-open experience of grief over the losses involved? Is
there anything God would give me through his word that would be for me and for
the child at the same time?
While there
are times we may want to go look up favorite Psalms to express specific feelings,
I have had too many experiences of God surprising me with what was waiting for
me in his word as I simply continued on from wherever I left off the previous
day. This morning was no exception.
Although my
focus this week is on this verse, “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk
according to the example you have in us,”[2]by the time I was nearing the end of my time with God yesterday
morning, I had already opened up this Scripture to see how it expanded the
picture: “You then, my child, be
strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from
me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able
to teach others also.”[3]
Yesterday
morning, the focus for me was on the way the church grows through imitation.
Paul had told the Philippians to join in imitating him, and consider the
example they had in both him and Timothy. When he wrote Timothy, he elaborated
on how the example this young man had seen in Paul, he was to entrust to “faithful men” who would also “be able to teach others.”
The picture of
the church passing on imitation of “the
example,” rather than just doctrinal statements, is gripping my heart with
what this means for me. Both Paul and Timothy, along with others “who walk according to the example” we
have in Paul and Timothy, continue to set the example I am to follow. I want to
come in as one of those “faithful men”
who teaches others through example, just as Paul and Timothy have done for me.
However, it is
no accident that I am learning these things right at this time when a child
needs my example more than ever. It is no accident that Paul was writing
Timothy a letter because they couldn’t be together. In fact, what Paul had
written Timothy about passing on his example and teaching to faithful men was
written from prison, and very shortly before Paul was executed for his faith in
Jesus Christ.
Could this
have anything to do with my example to a young man who is watching his
impending loss come far too quickly? All I can say is that it certainly felt
that way when these words fell across my heart, “my child.”[4]
Paul was no
fool when it came to his choice of words. If he wanted to emphasize his
authority, he was “apostle.” If he
wanted to emphasize his place as a fellow believer, he spoke of the church as “brothers.” So, what did he want to
emphasize by referring to this young man as, “my child”?
The apostle
had spoken of his relationship to Timothy earlier when he told the Philippian
church, “But you know Timothy's proven
worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel.”[5]Paul
and Timothy had a relationship in the kingdom of heaven that felt like “a son with a father.” Their
relationship had the special distinction of serving together “in the gospel.” There are so many ways
that children like to imitate their parents. What better way than a young man
imitating his father in the Lord, and wanting to be just like him in making Jesus
known to everyone.
The comfort to
me in this was multi-faceted. On one side is the wonderful encouragement that
the true church is a place where relationships become something “in the Lord” that they could never be
without mutual faith in Jesus Christ. Paul was able to relate to a younger man
in the faith as a son. I get that.
Another aspect
of this blessing was to consider how everything to do with imitating others,
and following “the example,” is in
the way that children imitate their parents. This is captured so beautifully in
Paul’s words, “Therefore
be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us
and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”[6]
Ah,
so when Paul said, “Be imitators of me,
as I am of Christ,”[7]he was speaking in the same terms of children imitating their
parents. If anyone knew how to be like the Father, it was Jesus. So, Paul put
his focus on imitating Jesus, and called everyone else to imitate him so we
would all be doing the same things. He could call the church to imitate God by
walking in love just as Jesus walked in love.
What
does this have to do with watching a preventable loss taking place in a child’s
life? It tells me that I can set an example of love for him that is like a
Father loving and blessing his son, and hope and pray that the love of Jesus in
my life has been a solid contribution to him wanting to be an imitator of God
as a beloved child.
One
of the key characteristics of imitation is that we are “beloved children.” We are to imitate what we experience of God. As
we see and experience how beloved we are to God, we can imitate him, and live
the same kind of life of love as Jesus exemplified when he laid down his life
for us. Feeling beloved is not something we need to try to do, but something we
pass on in relation to how much we have experienced the love of God.
This
means that, at this time in my life, I need to “know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be
filled with all the fullness of God.”[8]It is knowing that love that enables us to set an example of being
like Jesus. If Paul could continue being an example to Timothy even from
prison, it must be possible for me to be an example to my young friend as he is
enters his season of loss and grief. Even when we are apart, God’s love is big
enough for us all.
© 2015 Monte Vigh ~ Box 517,
Merritt, BC, V1K 1B8 ~ in2freedom@gmail.com
Unless otherwise noted,
Scriptures are from the English Standard Version (The Holy Bible, English
Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good
News Publishers.)
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